What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Whos better at Hide and go Seek, Anne Frank or Osama Bin Laden? -Why dont you tell me, they're both dead !

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Hello.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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