A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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what this: b a dead one of these: p

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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