the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops