Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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No your aunties a joke

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Q: The red house is to the left and the blue house is to the right. Where is the white house? A: 3 blocks down from the red house

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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