Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Sittin' on the couch with the morning post With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast Thinkin' I'm-a change it up, yeah that's always fun What you reckon, Remz? A McDonald's run So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend Yo, I found a five. Man, that's Canadian. How 'bout a loonie? A twonie? A spoon or The Goonies? Oh, it's 10:25. Dude, you gotta move, G. Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34 Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?" A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh... All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend And I want them eggs poached like an elephant Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?" No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola! Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet" Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch It just takes two bucks and I get what I need Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese "Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it? If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again Enter the store, first you holla, then you Pick a couple items off the dollar menu Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard. A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit Want a water? You can pay up there for spring Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy" Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant People say it's bad, but I don't believe them McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop! Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...