Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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try slamming a revolving door

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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