Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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