What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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