how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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catlin: hi Thomas: shut up bich 12 assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssl;

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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