Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops