My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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