Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

it was all Tagart

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops