A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops