Why do fat people commit suicide

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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