two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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