"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

[Insert anti-joke here]

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

Phew... it's gone.

What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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