A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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the sky is green no it is not

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops