How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Womans baksetball...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guess who is violent. Osama

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops