What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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