Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

My dog barks when someones at the door.

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

A man walks into a bar. Ow

roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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