Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops