Roses are red, yup.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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