What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

antijoke is the best website.

two peanuts walked into a bar they both sat down and immediately left once they found out the bar was serving peanuts.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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