why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Potassium? K.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops