why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is red white and blue? the french flag

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops