Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

Dick Cheney That's the joke

Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

What's long and black The unemployment line

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...