why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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