What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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404 Error: Joke not found

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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aodhan hearty

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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