Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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