Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops