What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

Jimmy Saville

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

woman's rights

Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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