There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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