How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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