What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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