What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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My cat just died.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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