There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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My cat just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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