What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Jesus Christ

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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