Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops