A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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