Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

womens rights.

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

[Insert anti-joke here]

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

One, two, three, four and five

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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