what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops