Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Knock knock Come in

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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