An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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