Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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