A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops