that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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