Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you are my slave, get back to work!

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Austin do your class work. Quit looking at anti-jokes. Yes you the one that goes to RRHS.

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Want to hear a joke? So do I.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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