Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -16

if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops