What did the man say to the other man. Hi

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...