What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

A jew, a mexican, a priest, a polock, a rabbi, a black guy, a white guy, an alien, a rooster, a duck, a horse, a chicken, a carrot, a chinaman, a plumber, a blond, and a christian are all examples of descriptive nouns.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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