how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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What happened to the child who's mother drank and took drugs while she was pregnant? Dead.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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