Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops