Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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