How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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