There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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